I’m Not Who I Used to Be—and I’m Learning to Be Okay With That

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I’m not the same person I used to be.

And for a while, that felt uncomfortable to admit.

Before becoming a mom, I had more time. More freedom. More space to think about what I wanted, when I wanted. Now everything feels different.

My priorities have shifted. My time is limited. My energy gets pulled in a hundred directions and sometimes, I miss who I used to be.

It feels strange toogling between being a mother of two and the acheivment chaser I once was. It's almost as if all of my goals dried but one. I only live to give my girls the best start possible. My desire to grow businesses vanished. My thoughts of being an active community leader (like my father) are gone. I don't need to been seen on stages. My crowns are dust collectors now. It once felt natural to lead but with time, I've discovered such a peace in the shadows.

There’s a weird mix of emotions that comes with that.

Gratitude for where I am…and quiet grief for what’s changed. I don’t think we talk about that enough. You can love your life and still feel that loss.

You can be thankful and still feel overwhelmed. Both can exist at the same time. What I’ve been learning is that I don’t have to choose between who I was and who I am now. I’m allowed to evolve. To grow into someone different. I'm allowed to let go of parts of myself that don’t fit anymore—and keep the ones that still do. It’s not about “getting back” to who I was. It’s about getting to know who I am now and being okay with that version… even if she’s still figuring things out.

Honestly, I think that’s where most of us are. Somewhere in between who we were and who we’re becoming.

And that’s not a bad place to be.

It’s just a real one.